Monday, June 7, 2010

NEVER mind...

I am kicking myself for getting so excited about NG... but it was easy. We get along so well, he's so handsome, and he made me smile. Our phone conversations lasted until well into the early morning hours. Although I never got ahead of myself, I still knew that if it ever made it that far, that he would have made an amazing step-father to my son.

So it kills me to admit, that I don't think there will be a future with NG. I think I was stupid
getting involved with him when I wasn't quite over BD. As much as I AM over BD now, (or at least
I think I am...) it wasn't okay that my heart was split between the two in the beginning.

When NG asked me if I wanted to date him last Sunday, I was thrilled. I think I assumed that meant more then it did. I also knew that we would not see each other for the month of June. (sucky, but I was willing to work with what I could get.) I assumed we'd continue to talk all the time, and text when we had a chance.. still send pictures.. That our conversations would be easy.

BUT there not. I feel him pulling away. I've made excuses.. legit ones. So has he. He's working.. He had the flu... He is camping.. He doesn't have reception.. and so on and so fourth. BUT I also know that for three weeks we talked ALLLLL the time. It didn't matter if it was just a minute between his house and the gym.. we talked.

So now I am taking a step back. I was getting crazy. I was over analyzing. Texting too much. Calling.. Being the type of girl, that I can't stand. I was putting all my issues and insecurities that I had with BD on NG. That wasn't fair. I'm sure I just straight up freaked him out.

So now, I am taking my space. If he desires to persue me.. then so be it. BUT I wont call him. I wont be the first to text. I want to be persued. I deserve to be persued. I don't want to feel not good enough anymore. I dont want to wait for a phone to ring. I don't want to be the one who makes it work.. without any help.

So there it is ladies and gents. I think I'm single again... and you know what? I think I'm okay with that. :)

19 comments:

purseblogger said...

Brittany, you are so sweet and beautiful, whoever catches your heart and you marry will be the luckiest man in the world! You are playing this so smart. Let him make the next move and you move on and see what happens. You will find Mr. Right when it's the right time. :)xoxo

allie said...

Couldn't agree more with PurseBlogger! You are doing the right thing Brittany, you deserve the very best :)

rinniez said...

So did you break up with him? or did he break up with you? Like did you have the conversation???
I totally agree with letting him persue you but just make sure you are both on the same page (which may be difficult with the distance!)
xx

Jenglamgirl said...

Hey Brit.~ I always say whatever is meant to be will be. If you feel him pulling away or coming up with excuses... BLAH... so not worth it. You are so worth it, and the right guy should be kissing the ground you walk on and bending over backwards to fullfill your needs. It will happen for you. Hugs, jENN p.s. GREAT ATTITUDE ABOUT IT!

nanner said...

oh brit...i know how you feel. i agree you should be persued. i know the feeling..truly i do. being the one to always make the effort, making excuses on why its this way and not that way. you are strong and beautiful and you already have a great man in your life...your son. (( hugs ))

Rebekah said...

During my dating years with my husband we had one really bad rough patch and it got to be where I was doing all the work. So sometimes it does require taking a step back and putting yourself in a situation to be pursued.

In God's timing you will find someone who will pursue you for the rest of your life! Such an awesome feeling. You are doing the right thing. Let God lead you.

Annie said...

oh honey :( i'm sorry to hear this but i think it's so awesome that you are so mature and just one awesome girl!! you know that everything happens for a reason. you better know you are always good enough! you are amazing and when the time is right you will find mr. perfect. maybe NG is that guy, maybe he is nervous and maybe you are about taking the next steps. if things are meant to be they will work out. if not, you will be perfectly fine. you are a smokin hot lil momma and you will be okay, just as you have said :)

p.s. where abouts do you lie in MN? you and your little man could come play with me and dom sometime if you wanted! we could meet at the zoo or something!! :)

Kelly and Sara said...

You are awesome! Its perfect, if he really wants to be with you he will come for you!

A Lil Story said...

awww, yes, if it is meant to be it will! not good to get anxious and over-analyze (I am always guilty of that!)~ u are so smart! You are handling everything perfectly =)

Iris Flavia said...

I really do hope it turns out the way it works for you and your heart! It´s never easy...

Tanya said...

I agree with the above. Let hiim persure you, and that way if it doesn't work out you haven't put an insane amount of time into the relationship. Or wasted away a single lady trip to Florida! :) You so deserve this vacation!

Stacey x said...

I feel very proud of you :) You don't need to wait around for him and if this is really meant to be, he will put the effort in. If not, he sure as hell isn't worth your precious time. Good luck chica!x

Steph S. said...

You know, I almost always ended up being "the girl i hate" in relationships all through school - until I started dating the boy that is now my husband. I acted and felt completely different about him - never once was I that girl I hated to be with him, and I think it's just proof - there really is that perfect match out there! Until then, have FUN and keep being your wonderful, terrific and beautiful self!

Slyde said...

you have a great attitude about the whole thing. good for you!

Shelley said...

If it doesn't work out with him, then it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes it's fun just to have a crush for a little while and it makes you happy. You will find someone! You are too great to NOT find someone! Just keep putting yourself out there. Try not to get too attached so fast, but don't be afraid to let go of BD and move on to someone else! You will figure it out! xoxo.

Shelze said...

Brittany, you are smart, funny and an amazing person. You will one day find that perfect person when you are least expecting it to happen. In the meantime, get excited about your upcoming trip, spending quality time with Aidyn
man. It was great that you were able to put yourself out there, but then at the same time know when it just didn't feel right. The right time will come, and I hope that I am here for every step of that journey!

Tara said...

purseblogger said it better than i could've said it myself! <3

He & Me + 3 said...

Hang in there...because absolutely you deserve to be pursued. You are beautiful & sweet.

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