Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Beautiful.

I watch you as you live your day. The way that you move, and the look on your face. The soft wrinkles that are just starting to etch themselves in your skin. You dread that, but to me it adds depth of character your face. The lines when you smile are brought on from years of making us laugh, and laughing your deep belly laugh right along with us.

Your brown eyes give you away every time. They don't allow you to lie. There are times when I see a flash of pain sweep through them, but you quickly try to hide it with a smile. I wish you didn't always have to be so strong. Even as a child you'd hold it in. You'd wait until all five of us were tucked in before you'd ever dream of letting it show. I hope you know that I'm not little anymore. I don't need you to be strong. Although I see myself becoming more and more like you. The thing is, I'm proud of that fact.

You move through your daily routine with the ease of a mother. Picking up, washing dishes, sweeping, and tending to your new set of children. Watching you makes it look easy. I know that it isn't. Seeing you in pain makes my heart ache. I would do anything to wipe those tears that you can't cry. They are locked so far inside of you, that I am scared they'll never come out. If I could see inside of you I know I'd see an inner battle. The battle of where you've been, to who you've become.

You are a fighter. I have never met someone so determined to be different. To break the chain, and to become a better person. You are the flower growing out of the concrete. Your determination gives me the strength to go through everything that I have. Your skinned knees allow me to come to you when I've fall down. You don't always give me a band aid, but I am always met with a kiss. You know everything about me. Do you know how rare that is? This kind of bond is so far and few between that I don't think some even believe it exists.

Our conversations are oiled with time. The way were able to read between the lines. The way that even when you say one thing... I know you mean another. You know exactly what to say to make my heart heal.. even if its just for the day. You encourage me more then anyone else. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't tell me how much you love me. You tell me I am smart. You tell me that I'm pretty. You tell me that you are proud of me. Don't ever stop. Please. Even if I shrug it off, just know that it means the world to me.

In a perfect world... I would see myself the way that you see me. In a perfect world... You'd see yourself the way I see you. Beautiful. Incredible. Strong. There is a profound beauty inside of you, mom, one that everyone else can see. I hope one day, you can see it too.

9 comments:

Jenglamgirl said...

So sweet, you have such a big heart I can feel it in your words, and i READ IT TOO. You can frame this and give it to your mom for MD.

Love the pics. of MR. "A" he is a doll for sure!!!

HUGS, Jenn

Amber Page Writes said...

This was beautiful. Your mom's heart must be swelling with pride at raising such a talented daughter!

Aimee said...

I love it:) You are very talented

I gave you an award on my blog...

http://thanksforthatinfo.blogspot.com/2010/04/quick-post-another-award.html

Tylaine said...

That is so beautiful!
I especially love that last paragraph....it really fits for my mom and I too. Your mom must be a very special person as you are :)

Kit Kat said...

OH Britt! This was so beautiful! Your mom is an AMAZING woman, and I see you becoming more and more like her as I read you blogs.
This was so sweet, and I am so glad that she has you there with her right now!
Give her a BIG hug for me!

Another David said...

Is this a continuation of the post from the other day? I made it to the end of both, but wasn't able to comment because they both left me with no words.

Tanya said...

inspiring.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Brittany, this is just beautiful and touching. You have a wonderful role model in your Mom.
Please let her know, I think of her often...miss her. wishing you both well.
Suz

Vic said...

Can I go ahead and cry now:) Tooooo sweet for words!:) Love YOU!