The changes...

So for quite a while I have been apologizing for my lack of blogging. Well, more or less my lack of commenting. I have had my plate full these last few weeks, and especially these last few days. It has been decision time.

As some of you may know, I have always intended on moving back to the Midwest. It is where my heart is. It is where my family it is. It is where BD is. It is where I am supposed to be. Selfishly I have post-poned this move through out this year. I have been pretty back and fourth. I felt that finally I was ready. I am ready.

Today as Aidyn-man and I walked to school I said "Okay Lord, what do you want me to do?" Then without any hesitation I knew. "Move home." Just like that. No it wasn't some loud booming voice. It was my voice. It just kept repeating "Move home. Move home. Move home." Bam. I knew what I had to do.

Of course there were many factors which helped bring me to this conclusion. I knew that I needed to do this. I needed to do this today. I knew that if I waited.... If I questioned that I wouldn't listen to what I knew I had to do. So I called my Mom. I called my Dad. I called BD. (in that order.) After the go-ahead I knew today would be the day I told my boss.

Thats the scary part. I LOVE my job. Even when I am stressed out to the max, I still love it. Maybe in a different way then when I first started, but I love it. I Love those kids. GOD how I love those kids. It will be one of the hardest things I have ever done to say goodbye to them. I love them. Period. They are my babies. I have spent 40 hours a week with these kids for a year. I don't even want to do the math, but something tells me I spend almost as much time with them as there parents do. If not more.

My boss is not an easy person to tell that your "quiting". She is a loving person, but she is also tough as nails. I knew this would not be an easy task. What makes it harder is that this week alone two other teachers quit. (and this is not a big school..) She was upset. She said some things that hurt me. She made me feel as if my year here didn't matter. I knew that's how it would be... so it didn't sting... as much.

Afterwards I shared what I did with my fellow teachers. I went around room to room on my break. I wanted them to hear it from me. Not some warped rumor, but the truth. I was met with MANY warm hugs and reassurance from my co-workers. They are AMAZING! Hardest yet was telling FB. I cried at the site of her, and I know there will be MANY-MANY more tears ahead.

As hard as it was, it is as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am ready to be home. I am ready to be back with my family, with my mom. Aidyn is so thrilled! I know this is the direction that I am supposed to be headed. It will be a tough journey, but I am so glad that I have all of you to help me through it. :)

I will be flying home in two weeks to stay with my mom for a few months. She has been very sick and I feel it is my place to go home and take care of her. From there I will look for a job near BD (in Iowa) so that we can be close enough to share Aidyn-man easily. To enjoy him together as a family.

These next few weeks will be filled with goodbye letters, pictures, and flashbacks to FL moments. (So stay away if you don't want to hear a whiny blubbering baby, or read tear smugged blog posts. I'm afraid that's just how its going to be! :) ) Keep me in your prayers dear Blog friends- I am going to need all the support I can get!