Whats my vision?
That's what I've been asking myself. What do I really want? What does God want in my life?
I don't know. I don't REALLY know what God wants with me. Where He wants me to go, or what He wants me to do.
Something my Pastor said today during the service stuck with me. "Sometimes you have to shut it all off. Your ipod, your computer, your phone, everything. Even the "Christian stuff". Sometimes you just need silence. God isn't going to scream over the top of it, to speak to you. I never have silence.
In the car theres the phone or the radio. At home the computer or tv (or both.) At school its the kids. At home its Aidyn. I am ALWAYS filled with noise. In fact even as I fall asleep I need the fan and music. When do I ever have a moment for him to talk to me?
Its time for me to talk to God. It's time for me to figure this out. I have so much on my plate right now. I am debating over moving home early or not. I don't know where to move. I just really don't know much of anything right now. It kinda makes me want to scream.
So here it is.. my goal. A half an hour every morning for devotions. Its time for me to figure my life out. It's time for me to be happy. It's time for me to define myself as more then just a "mom". I am young. I am capable, and soon... well soon I'll be exactly where I am supposed to be. I just know it. :)