Thursday, July 30, 2009

Another goodbye.

I know I haven't swamped you with 1,000 blogs about how sad I am this time.. but I am. My heart is broken, and all I want to do is hold on to Aidyn and never let him go. Tomorrow will be another goodbye. Another one of the hardest days of my life. I am excited that he gets to see his father, I am. I know that I chose this. I know that I should be lucky that his father is involved...I know all of this. but most of all I know that tomorrow after I drop him off, I'll be leaving a big part of me behind. I know that I wont feel whole again until I see him and hold him in my arms.

I will cherish these last few days I've had with him... and I will cry my heart out. Serious tears. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow...

but for now.. I'm going to crawl into bed with him. Slide right up by him. Wrap my arms around him, and feel his warmth. I want to listen to his little breaths. Kiss his little cheeks. Love him all up. I never want him to think I don't love him. So now I need to love him enough for two months. Wish me luck, and start praying! I'm really going to need it!