Friday, May 23, 2008

Dear Aidyn.. I miss you!

Aidyn.. my Aidyn.. ohhhh how I miss you :(

*sniff sniff*

Its always hard when you're away from me... When I drop you off, and drive away, it feels as if i'm leaving a part of me behind. My tummy hurts, and I tighten a little bit. Hopeing my week will be busy and go quickly. Counting the moments, the seconds until you are back in my arms.... until I can hold you, and suck on your chubby little cheeks. (sniff)

The first time you left for a weekend alone with daddy, was the hardest day of my life. You were so tiny. Daddy and me met in the parking lot of a TGIFridays, across from the Mall of America. He took the carseat from me, and you just looked at me. You didnt know daddy yet. He was just some guy, that we visited every few weeks. There was no significant bond yet, and it killed me to let you go. I crawled into the back of daddys car to say goodbye. I held your hand, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I told you I loved you, I sang you our special song.. (which no one else has ever heard me sing) kissed you a hundred times, before daddy swept me away, needing to get on the road. I watched his jeep pull away. I knew you'd be safe, but my heart ached. I started crying (LOUDLY) before I even shut the door. People walked past the car, looking at me with concern. Wondering to themself who is this girl, and what is wrong with her. My face was streaked with mascara. I wiped my tears, and tried to gain composure, but lost it a few more times through out the day. I found myself still going to your crib at night, chokeing back tears when you werent there. It was so hard, and when I finaly got you back, I never wanted to let you go again... but of course I did.. and I have.. ever month since.

I'm so glad to see that the bond you have with daddy is getting stronger and stronger. I know you know who he is now, and that makes me happy. It makes it worth every second my heart aches for you. He is such a good daddy, and he loves you so much. Mommy is so lucky to have someone to help me raise you into a big strong-hardworking-and smart young man. (thanks baby's daddy!) I'm sure you are having a lot of fun in Omaha, although I've heard you crying in the background when I call. Your gums are swollen from teething, and I know you dont sleep as well when you arent in your own crib. I know you expect mommy in the morning, and its hard when I'm not there, but I hope that you're good, and strong and brave :).. I know you are. You're braver then me sometimes, i think.

I get you back in five days, and I cant wait. Just in time for mommys birthday, jasons graduation, and grandpa johnson's visit. :) It'll be a whirl wind couple of days.. GET READY! Then in two weeks were off again to daddys house. This time you get to show me around! That'll be fun. I cant wait.

Well boog, right now its very late, and Mommy hopes you are snoozin' away for Daddy. I hope you're having sweet dreams. I said a prayer for you, and I know Jesus and the angels are watching over you. I love you mister boog... forever and ever.. :)

Love mommy.
p.s. Dont be TOO good for daddy... show him a fit or two, so he knows what he's missing when he's not around..! thanks :)