Do you know how hard it is to hate someone you love?
to love someone you hate?
is what I thought my forever would be like.
is who I want to go to bed laying next to.
Even after everything that he has done.
There are moment when I am laughing...
moments when I am excited...
When I am with my family..
When I go on vacation..
When I hear a funny story..
or hear something interesting..
When I wish he was there to hear/see it/feel it/ or experience it with me.
I hate that he isn't.
They say that it'll get easier with time..
but it's been FOUR years!
When will I stop loving him?
When will I stop wanting him to be my forever.