Friday, August 6, 2010

Is gay the new black?

This issue has seen a lot of spotlight recently. I have gone back and fourth on blogging about this, since I don't typically enjoy controversy. My blog is my "safe spot" and I have yet to feel a back lash from any of my readers. In fact, I have never had a negative comment on this page. I hope to keep it that way. That being said, this is something that i feel passionately about, and I'd love to see how my readers feel. I am in no way wishing to press my feelings or beliefs on you. I will respect your feelings and beliefs, I just hope that you respect mine in return :) ...

A few days ago I caught a rerun of the Tyra show, the topic of the show was "Is gay the new black?". Maybe some of you caught this, most of you probably didn't. It was all about the gay marriage debate. It got me fired up, especially when two of the women quoted bible verses while judging other people.

Does this infuriate anyone else? If you are going to quote bible verses, ACT LIKE A CHRISTIAN!

I am not saying that I am perfect. In fact my relationship with Jesus Christ is not where it should be. I am able to admit that. In that same sense.. I DO NOT PREACH! I do not sit in church on Sunday after going out on Saturday night. (maybe I should be?) I will not be a hypocrite!

I believe that people are born "gay." There is not one of my friends who is gay that I believe "Chose" to be gay. I don't think they woke up one day and said "I think I'll like guys today!" It was a struggle. Something they pained over and tormented over. In fact one of my friends used the bible and the church to try and "cure" himself. It didn't work.. Why? Because its who he is! Not a switch he can turn on or off!

I am not black, and I am not gay. So I can not understand how it feels. I wont even pretend to know how it feels to have people judge you or hate you because of who you are. It makes my heart ache.

One of the audience members stood up at Tyra's show and told a story. A story that is FAR too common. His father beat him! His father beat him to try and "beat the gay out of him". All the while he quoted bible verses to justify what he was doing! Tears fell from my eyes and I watched the hurt in this mans face. It made my skin crawl to think that someone did that in Jesus's name!

I KNOW that the creator and God that I believe in is a LOVING God. He would have wanted this dad to wrap his arms around that boy. To love him and show him who God is. You can love the person with out loving the act! Even if you don't agree with a lifestyle choice, it does not give you the right to judge or to hate!

It wasn't long ago that people of color were not allowed to marry whom they wanted. It was not long ago that we were not allowed to marry outside of our religion. When people were judged by the color of their skin, or the creed they believe, it was a civil rights issue. Thank God, things changed. Now "gays" are being judged by whom they chose to love. We are not allowing a select group of people to have equal rights. The right to marry, and to live how they chose. How is this NOT a civil rights issue?

The debate typical involves the use of the bible in the argument. I believe in God, but I also believe the people pick and chose which parts of the bible to use. If you are going to use the parts of the bible that discriminate against homosexuality, then I hope you are living the rest of the bible to a "T". I am sure that if you take a look at your own life, you'll realize that you are just as much of a sinner as anyone else. It is not your job to throw the first stone.

If you take the bible out of the debate, then there isn't much to debate. Since the beginning we have separated church and state for a reason. The reason being we moved to the great land of America to be able to worship as we choose! By removing church and state we are able to give freedom to EVERYONE. If marriage is a holy union by God, then maybe the word "marriage" doesn't belong in our government- If we can use the word to discriminate against people!

I believe in God. I believe in people.. and I believe in Love. I believe that I have no right judge how someone else lives their life.

I know this issue isn't "fluff". I know that what I've just said has some of you FUMING! I know that there are many of you that agree with me. I also know there are MANY more that don't. That is okay! The great thing about our country is that I have the right to express my thoughts freely. You also have the right to disagree with me freely. So why not let people love who they want FREELY?


Anonymous said...

my one and only thought on this... remember that Adam Sandler movie where he "married" his best friend to help get something... will we have a lot of those marriages coming out of the woodworks to get the benefits of being married

Mandy@ a sorta fairytale said...

i am also a STRONG christian. am i perfect? no. but i do my very very best every single day to honor my God and live my life according to His teachings. i have high standards and i stick to them, i really do. that being said, you can guess where i stand on this issue. however- who am i to judge? it's a touchy subject and i thank you for your thoughts!
i used to post a lot of my religious/political views on my blog but i do not do that anymore, knowing that my views are usually the minority. but i so admire you for doing it!! i'm so happy that you stand up for what you believe.

~Tom~ said...

I am sure one of the hardest things my son has ever faced in his life was the decision to tell me he is gay. He was afraid I was going to be mad, disown him, and toss him out of the house. When he finally told me, I had to take a minute to digest what he had said but, my exact response was, "Yeah? So what. You are my son. I love you no matter what. You will always be free to be who you are in OUR home." I gave him a big hug and told him I am his father till the end. I have never doubted myself or what I told him. I never will.

To the commentor above that is concerned with gays coming out and getting married simply to get benefits: Gay relationships are no different than any other relationship. They think and feel just like you and me. They marry for love. How many hetero couples do we see that marry simply for money or immigration rights? There will always be a few that use marriage to abuse the system. Being straight or gay has nothing to do with it.

Courtney said...

I agree 100% with you !!

Karli said...

I completely agree with everything you just said. My uncle is gay. He posted on his FB on Monday that "the Mormon Church paid 84 MILLION DOLLARS to pass prop 8 in keeping Gay people from getting married in California. Prop 8 was just overruled today saying that it's unconstitutional." Seriously? 84 Million Dollars? That money could have rebuilt New Orleans, helped the flood victims in Nashville, helped with the oil spill clean up or thousands of hungry homeless men, women and children!

I was appalled that these people call themselves religious yet the only focus on certain versus from the bible and judge so harshly.. How about the ones that say - love your neighbors or Do on to others as you would want done onto you or the verses about God being the only person who should judge you and others..?

asj said...

I couldn't have said it better myself... it took a lot of guts to post that blog I know but you hit the nail on the head - who are any of us to judge? I don't get judged for kissing my husband and holding his hand as we walk down the street... it hurts me when that happens to my friends who are gay. Who has the right to say our love is pure and the love of two men or two women isn't?

I also agree with you that it isn't a choice... one hundred percent, I missed that Tyra episode but I'm glad I did!

Lastly, I completely disagree with what Nicole said too... that's total BS. Who's to say there aren't straight "couples" who are marrying each other for the benefits? Why is that all of a sudden a "gay" issue? Because of a stupid Adam Sandler movie?

I know a few gay couples who got married and it wasn't for the benefits it was to pledge their love to one and another and to legally commit.

Okay... getting off my soapbox now.

Shelley said...

I still believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman. In the bible, being homosexual is put right with insest and beastiality. I don't hate gay people. In fact, a gay guy did my makeup the other day! And I liked him! But do I support them wanting the right to marry? No. It's just how I feel, and I know I will probably get negative feedback now but it's okay. I'm standing up for what I believe in and giving my opinion that you asked for. I still love you, Brittany! :-)

Brittany said...



Homemaker Man said...

You're a good kid and a good christian, far as I can tell.

Token Yankee said...

Totally with you. I just don't think it's our job to judge other people!

Busy Bee Suz said...

I agree with you totally.
I grew up around a lot of gay people (my brother included)
I am ashamed at people who call themselves Christian, yet judge and don't expect everyone to have equal rights.

Love is love. No matter your sexual persuasion or your color.

Kevin Michael said...

I'm not a Christian by any stretch of the imagination, however, I am in agreement with you here. Even those who consider themselves to christians or "Christ-like" should be ashamed of themselves for being against gay marriage.

And that's not even the only issue. I don't know when it happened, but at some point, religions became less of a tool to teach universal love and peace, and more of a tool to say what everyone is doing wrong and why everything you and I do are evil. I'm pretty sure if Jesus is the way he was portrayed in the Bible, he would be the most ardent supporter of helping people and accepting all lifestyle choices with open Jesus-like arms.

Riahli said...

I've always felt like whether or not I agree with something or someone it's not my right to judge...God is the ultimate judge...not you or me. Who am I to throw the first stone? That's what I always think in my head when I feel myself starting to pass judgement on another. For some reason as humans there always seems to be a tendancy to band up against one group or another. One group is "right" the other "wrong" and tempers fly. That's what we need to change, we need to teach children tolerance and how to have true compassion and understanding for others. I teach my children that they can think different things and that's okay. My son will say "You think it is, and I think it's not, and that's okay" and it makes me smile every time. It's a small thing but he's learning that you don't have to get angry and argue with people just because they think differently then you.

Unknown said...

Hey Brit~ This is a toughy post... I have had this conversations many times with family, friends, and my hubby. I have come to the terms that its a struggle and a hardship that God has given one. I believe that being Gay is no different from someone who is an addicted shop lifter or gambler or porn addict. I believe if you get all the addictions or temptation out of your life and away from you get help, therapy whateves.. stay away from gay friends, gay sights, gay bars, that YOUR addiction can be helped. I am sure gays would freak out at this. However, this is my opinion. I also remember a Real World Season I believe New Orleans there was a gorgeous blonde guy on it, that was straight his entire life dating girls relationships and all and then in his early twenties had a gay encounter and from then on stayed gay. IDK, perhaps you are born with it, its a toughy. I, going back to discussing this with my hubby, would NEVER under any circumstance turn my cheek from my child "GOD forbid" if they weren't straight. Yes' I would be crushed and spend many nights in tears, but I would love them just the same. I wouldn't agree with their choice, but I would still be their mother and still love them unconditionally. I truly believe their are some amazing gay people as well as couples that are so kind giving loving and caring. They are human beings and should be treated equally wether we agree or not. ;) Jenn

Anonymous said...

I applaud you for posting this. This is a very controversial topic and issue. People get very heated about it, as they should. I will be honest and say on here that yes, I am a Mormon but that no, I don't condone what my church has done about this issue. So, just because I am a member of this church, I hope people remember that not every member of it thinks what they've done is right. I too believe that God is the ultimate judge. It's not for me to say how someone should live their life. How does gays getting married affect my life? It doesn't. How does my getting married to my husband affect someone who is gay? It doesn't.
Thanks for letting us talk about this on here Brittany. Love you girl!

Bree said...

It just blows my mind and my heart is pounding as I read this, that people believe they shouldn't have a right to marry. THEY ARE NO DIFFERENT!! You don't have to like it, but to say they don't have the same rights as everyone else?? That's all I'm going to say about this...

Unknown said...

Also, I am a Mormon and the LDS church is just standing up for what they believe in and what the bible says... MAN AND WOMAN should marry. So it would be odd if they didn't pay out that kind of money to prevent something we as "CHRISTIANS" believe in. On, the flip side, I am NOT to judge and I had a gay friend in high school that I just loved. I don't agree with the choice, I beleive it would be a very difficult life to live, but who is to say that I don't have tons of struggles, and I don't live a difficult life at times, because I certainly do. I am judged fro being mormon so there you go.

Unknown said...

Also, to those of you who think that, that 84 million should of gone to the homeless or those suffering from hurricane katrina... ummmmm, well TWICE that amount does every day. As Members of the LDS church we pay a "Tithing" of 10% percent of our wages. It goes to the church paying for additional churches, temples, including people who are in need of food, clothing, and shelter, or other means of life. This goes to "ALL" not just members of the LDS church. We have a church store house called the "Bishops Store house." Housing food and necessities (spelling) for those who can't afford food and necc. This goes again to anyone member or not. One last thing, the church has donated several several clothes, blankets, food, neccessities to those of Hurricane Katrina and Hati. Again, Mormons get discriminated against, and I get tired of it! I love my church and believe it in whole heartedly and am proud to be a member, and love its teaching's and strong family Values. AMEN! Jenn

Lori said...

I think this is one of the best posts you've written thus far. You already know how I feel about this subject.

There is a saying about throwing stones in glass houses. I know in the bible it talks about being without sin and throwing stones. I have yet to meet anyone who is without sin. I am a sinner so I cannot throw stones at anyone.

I think things like this must sadden Jesus. If a person really studies how Jesus acted when he walked this earth they would know that he walked, ate and spent time with the sinners of this earth...those that the "religious" discarded and cast out of society. Jesus embraced them. This is why Jesus was considered a rebellion.

What I love the most about you is that you are willing to say what you believe and yet you allow others to disagree and voice their opinions. I love that you will passionately stand up for what you believe and not back down just because it is not of popular belief. And I love that you still love those that disagree with you.

Until I have walked in a "gay" persons shoes I cannot, will not, judge them.

Should people that are "gay" have equal rights as I do? Absolutely. Hell to the yes!

Renee said...

Gay rights, especially gay marriage, is a subject near & dear to my heart.

I have many friends who are gay. In fact, one of my very best friends is. He joined the army right after we graduated, spent several years in Korea & did a tour in Iraq after being stop lossed.

All I thought about while he was gone is that I might lose him under the most awful, unimaginable conditions - & he'd die having to hide who he is from the country he was serving. That just doesn't make sense to me.

I think about the sacrifices he was willing to make for the freedom of this nation, & it infuriates me that he doesn't have the opportunity to truly enjoy it.

As silly as it seems to me, I have tried to respect the opinion opposite of mine. But here's the long & short of it - the lives of those people who disagree with gay marriage will not be changed if it becomes legal. However, not legalizing it prevents gay couples from expressing their love & commitment in that way, & that isn't fair.

If you don't believe in gay marriage, don't be in one. It's as simple as that. But that opinion shouldn't dictate the lives of others who don't feel the same way.

Kit Kat said...

I feel like I have seen so many sides to this issue. Unfortunately it will never be completely resolved. As you know, I grew up going to a Missouri Synod Lutheran high school. This doctrine does not accept people as homosexuals. It treats them like people with a disease. Something that they can be cured from. I have talked to people who are "reformed gays" or gay people who have decided to live a life of celibacy rather than living openly in sin. ( their words not mine)
I cannot imagine the hardships and self hatred/questioning/doubt that they must go through on a daily basis.
A person cannot be entirely without sin. A boyfriend that I had in highschool and a bit beyond agreed with this lutheran doctrine that I have briefly described. When I asked him why he had issues with gay people he said it was because they were openly living in sin. My reply to that was that he was openly living in sin with me everyday. He had no response.
We are all with sin. Not a single one of us has a right to judge. We are all entitled to our own opinions, but I do believe that these opinions should not be aimed to hurt another person.

To express a bit of my personal view on the doctrine that I spent all of high school learning, not only did the not accept gays, but women were not allowed to be pastors. This obviously does not fly with me. Personally I don't buy in to all the separate doctrines and such. I am a Christian because I believe in God and Christ. I don't believe in putting the emphasis of the religion on baptism or communion/transubstantiation, or the differences between any of the different denominations.
And now that I have written an entire blog of my own as your comment, I will leave you with a simple statement...
all you need is love.