Thursday, April 9, 2009

missing him...

I havent had much to say lately, more then likely its because Aidyns gone. I feel like an artist with out a muse. An empty canvas, just sitting there beckoning you, but once you are there, nothing seems to want to come out. I miss Aidyn with a passion that seeps out of me. Sometimes I wake up thinking I am hearing him crying, just to realize it was only a dream. Other times i'll be in the other room, and i'll rush to his bedroom, thinking I heard him crying.

I feel like one of those people who loses an arm, but still has ghost pains where their limb used to be. I can still feel him, but he's not there. God.

He called me today and rattled on about a "yellow school bus." It was nice to hear his voice and the excitement about this new-cool object. I just wish it was my voice along with his on the other end of the line. I wish we could have sang together the wheels on the bus, or waved at the bus driver. The entire time I talk to him I feel home sick for the only home I know these days. Its true what they say.. that home is where the heart is. Right now my home is thousands of miles away in NE, in a little two year old boy who is (hopefuly) fast asleep. I cant wait for him to come home, so I finally feel like i'm at home too.

2 comments:

smiles4u said...

Thats an aweful feeling...to have your heart so far away. Count the days down until he's back...every day is one day closer to him coming home. Hugs and much love XXXXOOOO

Busy Bee Suz said...

awww....I can feel your pain from way down here....
I hope you get to feeling better and then the time will pass quicker.